To Various...

I've said many times that when I read what my little mate Various (Jaya to some) writes on here... I sometimes have the picture in my head that she just starts smacking the shit out of her keyboard.

I'm not sure many people know exactly what I mean by this... but now, I have finally found the perfect way of describing it.

Here:



As always, this is meant with much love and light fascination.

Look forward to hearing from you V-man. I hope you don't stop talking to me again. Because I'm almost certain this will have made you laugh.

Obviously a

Omg you got the picture so right. (Youll have to excuse the marks on my head wen u c me)!

btw, im so privileged to have a discussion about me!! Thanks!!


bk at u!

HA, nice one Toniy. Reminded me of this video I saw ages ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBVmfIUR1DA

That guy is a legend.

U gotta love those Germans and their indestructible keyboards, must have been made by HP.......

Damn right.

But that kid is FUCKING crazy. I don't know if its ADHD, or he's just being a prick, or its all fake?

I just don't know. Help me out guys...

Oh by the way, Whittaker buddy, did you see my Bournemouth post? I can't remember where I put it, but I was there last weekend.

You should take a look, see if it rings any bells for ya

Lol your right FYEO is a very nice joint only ever been in twice both times absolutely hammered. Me and a friend ended up in their on the May bank holiday Monday, we only went in for more drinks (honest) because all the other places were closing early but ended up parting with large quantities of cash. We then hit the casino and, yes u guessed it parted with even more cash. Did u see a strange looking place over the road from FYEO with blacked out windows and huge suited bouncers called Wiggle? From what I have heard it’s a lap dancing restaurant but no one I know has had the guts to actually check it out yet, its kinda shrouded in mystery. It’s also used to be a registry office, pretty ironic!

The place with Disco inferno in is Elements, good place when it’s full, what was it like when you were in there? Next time your down there you should check out a place called Censo and The Old Fire Station especially on Fridays. In fact Bournemouth is like 1hr 30 mins from Reading and if you book early you get a train for £12, we should all take a trip down one Friday after work, I know a club the closes at 6 in the morning so we could train down, get wrecked (good 12hr bender) train back to reading and still be home in time to watch Soccer AM, result! (Had to use it at least once)

Ads im no longer in your pic, sick! ha

Quote :

Bournemouth is like 1hr 30 mins from Reading and if you book early you get a train for £12, we should all take a trip down one Friday after work, I know a club the closes at 6 in the morning so we could train down, get wrecked (good 12hr bender) train back to reading and still be home in time to watch Soccer AM, result! (Had to use it at least once)

Friggin' awesome idea, especially like the soccer AM touch at the end! altho, the club thats open til 6, Camel, is over rated!

Jellis wrote:

Ads im no longer in your pic, sick! ha

!

Sorry mate had to cut you, fancied a change, the horse took it worse trust me.

So far then we have two ppl up for the Bmth outing and we both spent the past two years in Bmth anyway....C'mon guys get your names down!

Fucking DOWN mate!!!

I enjoyed it, but it would have been better with a couple of pros.

I saw Wiggle, and it made me laugh my fucking arse off for like 3 minutes. A lap dancing restaurant you say?

I'm not sure I could eat a steak while that's going on... I get self conscious when I eat.

Fantastic use of by the way buddy.

Elements was ok... reminded me a lot of Route 66 down by me. A bit of cheese.

Didn't see a casino though... for the best I think.

I thought this was about me!!!!!!

selfish

Well it kind of is...

We've covered Night Clubs, Gambling and Strippers.

If that doesn't say my mate Various, I don't know what does

So it seems my little buddy is in a bit of a fix, and I'd like to dedicate this little section to helping her out of her jam, especially since she feels this is 'her thread'. Which is cool. And should in theory be done for any of our guys in the Top6 until situation is resolved.

So with that:

1. Its a bitch that you had to go up against your friend. Not cool.

2. I think I want to hear the story about how you reacted. Because I just, love, the drama.

3. In the grand scheme of things, I think its fate's way of saying you were the best one for the job.

4. I think I've still got my emails about first day things. I'll send them over if you want (assuming they aren't person specific. I seemed to have received everything early on).

5. Serious replies aren't as fun as unSerious replies.

6. You probably should have done something before I threw in my two cents.

7. I've lost my track of thought entirely.

8. .......

9. Ok, so if it were me, I would find someone at HP to talk to in person, but I don't know what numbers you've received already. The hotline is always a safe bet.

10. Honestly, I just wanted to cover as many threads as I could to tie up any loose ends since I've been away. The other guys have definitely given you good advice. I just like to join in and I'm feeling typey.

11.

I don't know if any of that helped. But at the end of the day.... I think we all feel better about ourselves. I also hope this at least appears to some as though it was an attempt to help and not just to satify my chatty buzz.

Because I wanted to help. No shit. I could have just covered gambling and strippers again, but I thought you guys deserved better.

no 11 definately helped!

Nice one. What the hell are you doing up?

i cant go 2 sleep at normal times, plus i was watchin blood diamond, which is ok but not amazing btw.

wat u up 2?

have u notice the forums time is WRONG?

uhhh... no. I don't even know where it is...

ok u bored me now, im off 2 bed!

Wait... just found it. But it doesn't mean that its not past midnight.

You should be in bed kid, surely.

lol it shows up wen u send ure msgs. chat soon, tkare

RIGHT

This is NOT the ideal way to have a conversation. At least that was settled...

Speak to you soon.

yh buts its an hour behind, i swear im older than u!!!

Anyone whose reading this thinking 'what the fuck'? I have one thing to say.

I didn't bore her to the point she had to leave.

but*

( i did that on purpose) not really!

yh he did!!!

It is ACTUALLY EXACTLY an hour behind, yeah.

I doubt you're older than me though... most of these guys are straight out of college. That's not to be rude.

And that kid thing is just another way of me saying buddy or pal nowadays.

I think its got a ring to it. Its not as patronising in person.

Bollocks.

Well I don't need anyone else to have a conversation. That's what happens when you're cool.

<sigh> So how you doing Toniy bud?

Yeah not too bad fella, how bout yourself?

Yeah pretty good. Enjoy the weekend?

Superb mate actually. Went up to Wales, saw my buddy from up there, it was his 21st. He owes me £300. Well £250 technically now because I got pissed and said I'd knock £50 off.

Oh yeah? Bet you regretted that didn't you?

Little bit, but then again, he was off his trolley too, so I doubt he'll remember.

Well he did because he spoke to you about it today.

Alright, don't get pissy about it.

I'm not getting pissy, I'm just pointing out the obvious.

Well fair enough, but come on guy, there's a time and a place.

Are you just typing words now? I mean that last thing didn't need to be said at all did it? It had no frame of reference, it didn't add anything to the conversation, you were just saying words.

Alright, ease up.

You done?

Yeah I'm done. See you next time bud.

Yeah take care pal. All the best.

Love you man.

Love you too pal. Seeya

wtf!? go to bed guys! Don't know how I'm gonna manage the 9-5 shift, when i can't even go to bed til at least 3

I saw that coming.

It was a calculated risk (or miscalculated in this case) that I'd be able to have my fun here, then not have to own up to anything until tomorrow morning.

But then you came along buddy. Which is pretty cool. I'm just wondering whether this pseudo real time conversation is gonna take off again, or we'll both manage just to chill and go to bed. Good idea in my book.

Night in advance fella

naaaah that going to bed stuff is over rated! especially when your home from uni for a few days and you've sky plussed loads of random shit like ''deadliest catch'' ..... it's really not that deadly, gd tv tho!

Deadliest catch?

You remember the first deadliest things? Like... deadliest police chases / stunts / gun shootings etc. And they were GOOD?

Like the top 20 TV moments, when that wasn't on just every sunday evening with Harry FUCKING Hill. I hate that prick.

Yeah in fairness, most of my posts have been at about 4. Pretty certain I've made mention of that before.

I'm not being nearly as much of a grammar nazi now either. Look how much quicker things get done...

they were gd, but not in the same league as deadliest catch!

i'm havin to re type what i previously wrote, as my internet decided to fuck up as I posted, niiiiiiiice!


I'm with you on harry hill, that man is a bit of a bellend! and on the subject of comics, even tho you can't count harry hill as a comic, i met jimmy carr the other day, wears more make up than a clown, funny bastard tho!!

He does look like a porcelain lady boy in my opinion. Now where did I hear that?

And why am I so decidedly calm considering you just stole the 1000th view from me?

Its no bother, I don't think any less of you buddy, at all. I find the whole thing just... funny as you like to be honest. It was the last thing in the world that I was expecting.

thats the thing though. read my other post, I think we may have both got it at the same time, joint effort and all that shit????

In that case... we ARE view 1000. We ARE the View 1000 Guys.

That's what they'll be putting on our plaques.

Buddy... I will speak to you tomorrow.

All the best pal, Night.

This brings back memories of staying up till 7am after a night out talking then realising you need to be in uni in 2 hours, I imagine that is gonna be even worse at work.

Ahh I remember them. They are awesome.

Although I do get the impression that a lot of the folks at HP spend a lot of their time drunk. That and going for bike rides...

Just got this email, as I am sure most of us did, but since Various hasnt been getting them I thought I would post it............


Hello All,

Your First Day

For most of you your start date is the 3rd July, so I would like to confirm the arrangements for your first day. Unless you are notified otherwise, you should arrive at the main reception of the office where your placement is based (according to your contract) at 10am and ask for your Manager or Current Intern. If you are based in the Bracknell office, you should ask for me – Ali Standfast. If you have any queries regarding your location / start date etc please don’t hesitate to contact me.

If you need a map on how to get to your HP office please use this URL: http://welcome.hp.com/country/uk/en/contact/office_locs.html

If you are arriving by car you will need to inform security at the main barrier that you are a new starter. They will advise you where to park.

If you are based in the Bracknell office I will provide you with the forms to enable you to obtain a car park and security pass for the Bracknell office. During your first day we will have a time allocated for you to meet with security to arrange this. For other locations your Manager / Current Intern will organise your security passes.

On your first day you should dress smartly (suit or similar), however HP has a smart but informal dress code and your role will dictate your usual dress.

Induction Event

Each year we hold an induction event for new interns to give you an insight into HP and give you an opportunity to meet other interns. The induction event for 2007 will be held at the Bristol Office on July 11th. More information will be provided once you have joined HP.

I look forward to meeting you all next week.

Kind Regards

Ali

Alexandra Standfast
UK&I Graduate and Intern Programme Lead

Office: +44 (0)1344 361157
Mobile: +44 (0)7881 501313
Mail to: alexandra.standfast@hp.com

does that mean that in our second week we all get to go to bristol?!?!

bloody hope so!

Road Trip?!?!

I'm liking the sound of the 10 o clock start

lol, i got it eventually, my friend sent it 2 me!!

fuckin great move 2 reading and have to com bk 2 brsitol!!! lol love it really.

im loving the 10 o'clock start 2. nice 4 longer!